...medical that is
Published on February 19, 2007 By DrDonald In Just Hanging Out
Regular kids eat regular meals. Being a doctor, my kids eat meals peppered and spiced pungently and profusely. The bitterness, the sweetness. They're old enough to hear it all, now. But once in a while I hear, "Not at dinner dad." "Can't it wait." "Pulleeasse." Dinner is for sharing and mom's no help. She's a nurse. Oblivious, we don't even know we're doing it.

OK, so maybe they didn't need to know about that lady I'd see every couple of years. She'd complain of navel discomfort. I'd take a pair of tweezers and pull a out a core of lint that was 3/8" wide by about three inches long. A visual artist, she'd often have visions that no psychiatrist had ever been able to explain. I've never seen her art, but I often imagine it.

Then there was Road Kill, also a regular at the local soup kitchen. He'd gotten his name because he used to wear...yep that's right.

The lady with about a month of vaginal discharge due to a tampon, forgotten and lost, also didn't avoid mention. The gangrenous toes, The pelvic floor cramping treated with botox so the newlywed could have intercourse with her husband. The proper way to remove an ingrown toenail by spreading iris scissors repeatedly under it. The alcoholic with the right middle lobe pneumonia from breathing in his own vomit. The process of disimpacting someone with intractable constipation. The IV addict with abscesses over his arms. The way to blow a foreign body out a child's nose by doing a "kiss-off". The guy with the untreated dental abscess that had gotten a bone infection and had to have part of his jaw replaced. It goes on.

Against all odds, recently, my son met a girl in his careers class whose mother is also a doctor at a local walk-in clinic. The first thing he asked her was "Does your mother gross you out about work at the dinner table?" As she nodded, he chuckled, "Yeah, my dad too."

Comments (Page 1)
on Feb 20, 2007
Well, I guess that's educational. You're dispelling the myth that being a doctor is so fancy pants. There's a huge difference between real doctoring and TV doctoring isn't there?
on Feb 20, 2007
I work in a large public hospital so I KNOW there is no glamour in being a doctor. I still admire the hell out of what you do, though. Remind me to set some ground rules if we ever have dinner together, okay?
on Feb 20, 2007
here's a huge difference between real doctoring and TV doctoring isn't there?

Right, real is much more three-dimensional and varied. Although, I've often seen the likes of House, "el hombre perfecto" in my travels. Yes, there is also much of the noble, the inspirational and the spiritual in medicine. Mainly in the people who suffer. We are priveleged indeed to serve.
Remind me to set some ground rules if we ever have dinner together, okay?

You can set all the rules you like maso!  

exotic appetites indeed!    
on Feb 20, 2007

Nice.  Seen just about every one of those, and have been stopped by my wife at the dinner table from sharing anything more. 

I suppose it just comes with the territory.

on Feb 20, 2007
Very...uh, descriptive. Yeah, that's right! Descriptive...  

I'd hate to sit down to a big plate of spaghetti and meat balls with you guys!   
on Feb 20, 2007
Thanks for dropping by guys

stopped by my wife

trust me, after a while, she'll just give up.

spaghetti and meat balls

does sound like something you might want to digest.
on Feb 20, 2007
I really like your avatar, Don. It is from 'The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T', right?
on Feb 20, 2007
As luck would have it, I just changed it, before I saw your reply! Thanks, I may change it back again when I'm feeling more geeky!  
on Feb 20, 2007
Yes it is. One of my favourite movies as a boy, and I actually own it now on videotape. Loved Hans Conreid in that role. Dr. Seuss of course! Very surreal. After all, it was probably all just a dream. Come to think of it, this feels kind of dream-like...oh no it is!

As you see, avatar or not, I'm still just a geek.
on Feb 20, 2007
I loved that movie. I haven't seen it for years. I might have to see if I can track it down on DVD. Great avatar...

I'm still just a geek

Yeah, but who spotted what your avatar was, ay? We geeks gotta stick together
on Feb 20, 2007
  gut busted!
on Feb 21, 2007
Funny article, Dr. D.

A question for you. Have you ever deliberately told a grossout story just to get the last piece of chicken or maybe dessert?  
on Feb 21, 2007
Naw, my kids just don't have much of an appetite anymore anyway. Thanks uDigit.
on Feb 21, 2007
You're too cool.

For some reason I'm sick and twisted and love gory and bizarre medical tales. I can't even look and feel like I'm going to throw up when my kids are even slightly hurt and bleeding, but I can't get enough blood and guts when it happens to folks I don't know! LOL.

My husband is a medic with an Afghanistan tour behind him (spent some time working in a detention facility) and is currently serving in Iraq. He has some super cool gross-out stories, but he doesn't always like to talk about it. He thinks I'm sick.
on Feb 21, 2007
My husband is a medic with an Afghanistan tour behind him

I'd have loved to pick his brains. (figuratively of course)
I have the greatest respect for medics in the services. You must be proud.

Thanks Tex. One of the freakiest things I've ever seen was a textbook of gross pathology illustrating people that had died of various causes. I love the dark stuff too. CSI, Clive Barker, Robin Cook, Alan Moore and Steven King.
heh, here's an av for ya....

hell, you can borrow it until my geek quotient goes back up; thanks for your continued support whip! (flash required)